(-10)You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets. (-3)You go out to buy her what she wants (+5) in the rain (+8)But return with Beer. (-5)PROTECTIVE DUTIESYou check out a suspicious noise at night. (+1)You check out a suspicious noise, and it is nothing. (0)You check out a suspicious noise, and it is something. (+5)You pummel it with an iron rod. (+10)It's her pet Schnauzer. (-30)SOCIAL ENGAGEMENTSYou stay by her side for the entire party. (+1)You stay by her side for a while, then leave to chat with an old school friend. (-2)Named Tina (-10)Tina is a dancer. (-20)Tina has breast implants. (-40)HER BIRTHDAYYou take her out to dinner. (+2)You take her out to dinner, and it's not a sports bar. (+3)Okay, it's a sports bar. (-2)And its all-you-can-eat night. (-3)It's a sports bar, it's all-you-can-eat night, and your face is painted the colors of your favorite team. (-10)A NIGHT OUTYou take her to a movie. (+1)You take her to a movie she likes. (+5)You take her to a movie you hate.. Now, I don't have thishuge gut or anything. I've still got the muscles but they're hiddenunder an inch or so of fat. You can tell that I've got these hugemuscles by looking at me, but now my body looks smoother and a bitsofter with its layer of fat. My loss of definition was killing me inthe competitions so I quit competing about a month ago - till I can getmy weight back under control.Plus, I've packed on some weight in an embarrassing location! I used tohave these huge muscular pectorals on my chest but now each pec hasgotten covered up by a thick layer of fat. Each one is about the size ofa large cantaloupe and they hang down an inch or two on my chest. I waslooking at them in the mirror the other day as I was toweling myself offafter taking a shower in the morning. I cupped one in my hand and wassurprised by its warmth and softnessA couple of weeks later the guys at school were kidding me about my"developments." Developments?" I asked."Yeah," one of my friends replied, "don't you.
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